Lies

Pardon my half assed attempt at writing daily for the past one year. Its time to buck up and start doing this.

Even though its been 3 weeks into 2016, I would like to attempt to write at least something everyday.

Cheers x

Advertisements

Relief

Semestral Exams are finally over, and I feel that I can finally breathe better. *laughs*

I really can’t wait to share a new project idea which I will share with y’all in the next post. Back to this, relief.

I guess it has been a rather turbulent one semester so far, with me isolating myself to actually entering clinics. However, it has been the most fulfilling one semester so far. I have learned way many valuable lessons. I would actually say its a huge load off my shoulders ever since this semester ended a few days ago.

I have learnt that sometimes, its alright being alone. It is not necessary to be constantly “surrounded” by people, either physically or virtually. That sometimes, being alone helps with looking at things in another perspective. Sometimes, self-discovery happens. Nevertheless, I have slowly adapted to detach myself. It may sound like an anti-social thing to do, but from someone needing people around me all the time? It’s a rather decent thing to do for myself. I guess.

I have learnt that friends doesn’t need to be the one there all time. Rather, friends who stay through all the shitty times are the keepers. Despite being the one who look dense in class, and the one who often get used by people whom I called friends, I think this is by far the toughest lesson for me. I took those who has been with me, talking to me 24/7 as my close friends who turned out to be nothing but people who use each other. It scared me at first, to see that the dog eat dog world outside has a place in school. Later on during the semester, I learned priority. That placing such people at the top few priority spot is stupid. Tough lesson, but a necessary one.

Still, procrastination is a huge problem for me when it comes to exams, but at least this semester I managed to start studies at lest a few days before. It’s an improvement. Happy, but not proud.

This semester? A tough one.

Next semester? I plan to enjoy what life gives me. I expect more turbulence. This time, I am going to enjoy the ride.

Under the Weather

Among the busy schedule for the past few weeks, I finally fell sick.

I guess I kind of expected it? However, it really sucks that I have to go to school for oral viva and exam papers despite felling under the weather. This time -I guess- I think I am having a sore throat. Like I remember getting really sick because of sore throat quite a couple of time 4 – 5 years back, never really recovered from the sickness for a few months straight. Hopefully I can recover faster this time round.

Another would be my emotions that is under the weather. lmao, like how can it be possible but yes, I have been feeling rather down the past few weeks. I guess the amount of work from presentations to papers really put me through a whole new level of stress I never had before. Expectations for myself this time was rather high, as I really believed that I could do well. I guess, I stress/worry myself out too much. I can really feel the toll on me, getting really moody, snapping at people for no bloody reason. However, my hatred and other emotions amplified too. It’s as if the lid that has been clamped on so tightly on the pot of boiling water has started to loosened and the scalding water threatened to spill out any moment. Its bad to keep such hatred and anger to oneself, but its the kind that once people know about it, it will get worse. I guess its time to find alternative way to cool the boiling water, or at least keep the lid on tightly and hold on.

I just need to hold on.

Say Something

This song has been stuck in my head for the past few weeks, no joke.

I guess to song appealed to most of my emotions the last few weeks except anger.

Apt time to part with this.

Fairness?

Recently, I was in a way “grounded” by my parents from attending debate training because “I come home late” every time, and something bad might happen to me, so I have to be home by 10PM everyday. When they meant late, they meant me coming home around 11PM. Well, I would be fine with this but I am not happy with this. I have really learned to love the CCA (despite not having much practice 😐 )

My parents would allow my sister and brother to attend their extra CCA lesson held in the night, and they always will reach home around 11PM, 12AM. Guess what, they are fine with it. The worse part? Both of them are 16 and 13 y/o, and yet they are more worried about my safety rather than theirs, which makes no sense to me. I really felt that they hate my CCA rather than being concerned for my well being. If they are really concerned, they would have also made them stop going for these extra CCA lessons. Not consistent at all.  

S o    n o t    c o o l.

I guess that has been on my mind the last few weeks THAT HAS BEEN BUGGING ME SO BADLY.

The truth? It hurts that my parents don’t support me in what I am interested in despite multi times of reassuring me they do. Maybe they do support me, but their way of doing so is definitely not a way. Instead of feeling supported, it felt like I was all alone, abandoned. lol it sounds so drama, but yeah, that’s what I felt.

So much emotions, pent up anger and frustrations, no one out there to really sit and listen. Not even the online world. I guess it all just go downhill from here.

Omg, I shouldn’t really continue, I am ranting rather than reflecting D:

On a brighter note;
Its Comic Con at San Diego and I wish I was there! 😦
It seems to be a lot of fun :-((

Ending this rather annoying rant kind of post with California Dreamin’ by Sia.

100 Day Challenge

I really miss writing so much and I haven’t been doing what I miss the most recently AT ALL T_T

Therefore, in order to challenge and re inspire myself, I am going to take up the 100 Day Challenge.
I have to write every single day, it can be anything!

Really hope that I can get this up and running successfully. Honestly though, don’t expect much but I will do my best 😀

x Cheers


edit 9.8.2015 11PM

hello earthlings, I may have currently abandoned this project as I really cannot find the right kind of commitment to this yet, but it will be resumed when I get my life back in order.

x Ciao